Well here i am, already behind the curve, on this beautiful Georgia day. I believe in following your instincts and sometime last week i had this urge to join blogger and start anew. I have no idea what may come of this, what i have to gain from it all, here i am all the same. I'm not new to blogging and maintained one on Livejournal for years but it was more or less treated as a true journal filled with random excerpts of my everyday life and, over time, it brought me to the conclusion that i still feel more expressive chronicling such things in ink on slightly dog-earred notebook pages. This blog i intend, while it will still delve into the personal, to be more on the commentary side of things, because if theres one thing i've been good at, besides drinking, its delivering my personal opinion.

Just yesterday a friend of mine posed an interesting question- "When did i give up, when did i stop trying, or caring?" Its interesting because i find myself feeling that way lately. My answer was that it happened sometime after we became "grown-ups"- that real life, if you can call it that, has a way of crushing dreams if you don't protect them. And this is true. But i think it goes deeper than that too. It is easy to see the big picture as a wide-eyed child dreaming of being an astronaut, palentologist, president, etc. And the big picture is good, but the devil is always in the details. Even in college we still dream those big dreams, surrounded by campus walls, sheltered from the building storm of reality that will rain on our heads the minute we toss those graduation caps in the air. Its somewhere after that, after we've run that pre-arranged societal achievement course, after the claps and cheers have faded, that many of us lose that drive. I know i feel as though i have.
I'm not saying a college degree signals aspirational curtains, but i do think too many of us have been doused by the overwhelming expectations awaiting, ran too many marathons to dead ends, and been generally treated like the grease on the corporate wheel. Its disheartening. What i am saying is this isn't the great frontier anymore, this is a world filled with red tape that you can just as easily get wrapped up in as cut through if you're not careful. Now more than ever before i think its obvious that we have created a society of elitists and corporations, a system that tends to value the yes-man over the free thinker. Its as though we've come full circle, as if the middle of the century never happened, the factories may be gone but we still feel like mill workers. The difference is todays society tells us "yes, you can!"
Perseverence IS what it takes, but it shouldn't be so damn hard- hard to find a job that makes you happy, that provides you with a balance of work and life, that pays well. Hell it shouldn't be so hard to find a good job. And that right there is where dreams get crushed, where you just stop trying because setting out to change the world or even that endcap weren't part of the company policy. That was me- toting my degree only to find its more about who you know, how much you cost, and the bullshit you can spin than about talent, intelligence, and hardwork. Politicians prove this everyday....
In our attempt to separate the cream it seems we've managed to achieve the exact opposite. One day you wake up and the bills are stacked high, and the house needs cleaning, and your almost out of milk and gas, and another ten hour day awaits you, and all you really need is another hour of sleep. Its sometime around then that your dream of being a celebrated artist, or owning that coffee shop, or joining NASA gets ever dimmer. You weren't a trust fund baby, the child of an executive, or a reality television star. You're not paid to think outside the box, do that on you're free time when you can find it. Nope, you're just you, groomed to be a cog in the wheel. 

At least thats my two cents- probably all its worth in this economy anyway....